Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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