So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
