only if we run a train.
done.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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