fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We had sex on a dog bed..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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