Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
