I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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