DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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