i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
