I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
