How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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