yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
