i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
