And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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