I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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