My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
