Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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