i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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