At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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