get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
