tell your sister to shave her snatch
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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