it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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