i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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