Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
