I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
