my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
