as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
