Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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