in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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