I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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