i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
