She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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