Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
