i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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