yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
