3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
