thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
