i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
