I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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