but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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