Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
