Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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