a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
