We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
