I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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