i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
