I'm eating all of the evidence.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize