how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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