whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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