Me too!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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