I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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