He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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