I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize