I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
