So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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