Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
