we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
