Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
