How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
