fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
