i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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